Shady Business

A while ago, there was a post circulating around on twitter and I have some things to say, some things to get out there.


"Like this picture and I will DM you a name. You will come back to this picture and write what you think about that person in the comment. (THE TRUTH) But you will not mention their name. So the only person who knows who you are talking about is you and me"
(Photo courtesy of Twitter.)

So a few people I follow posted it. Got a bunch of favorites. But if you read through alllll the replied comments, the shady things people had to say about each other, many of them were negative. A lot of them started with a compliment or something nice, but completely insulted whoever it was at the end. "intimidating," "rubs me the wrong way," "big heart but a big head." They're all subtle, but shady as hell. Some are outright insults, too. "Total fuckboy." "kind of a bitch." You scroll through them and wonder who it is. Is it you? Your friend? A teacher? The girl sitting next to you in your third hour? Should you tell someone? Do something? Based on the terrible hunch that someone is being hurt, even though the words never reach their ears?

The concept is... juicy. Sure. And I know I'm guilty. I vent. I talk shit with no intention of my words ever reaching other people. But NO NO NO. You can't post that stuff out there for people to see and get paranoid about. Same thing goes for that After School app that was going around for a while. I downloaded it for a bit, it seemed mostly positive, but I think people got tired of it.

I'm rambling. I'll stop.

The first step to creating the #KinderKennedy that we had a full school assembly about just days before these Twitter threads surfaced, is to not throw shade and insult each other on Twitter. Honesty is great. We could all be more honest. But we could also always be more kind. And there's a balance there. If what you have to say isn't kind, or true, don't say it. 

Gossip is some dangerous shit. It's tempting. It's dangerous. And it hurts. 

Let's not do this ever again, okay Twitter? Okay.
Claire
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A Letter

So in middle school, it was a common project to write a letter to yourself down the road, and the intention was to hang onto it and read it in 10 years, or at graduation. I don't know if I lost mine, or never wrote it, or never had it as an assignment, but I heard mention of it recently and decided to write myself a letter. It's not edited, not necessarily well-written, and it's pretty short, but I think it's worth preserving on here, because I will lose the hard copy someday.

Dear future Claire,

It's been a while, huh. I hope you're reading this with a steady job saving the world somehow. Maybe you're working for the peace corps, or you changed your mind and became a doctor like your dad. At the very least, you graduated from college, hopefully without too much student loan debt.

If you don't travel too much for work, maybe you'll be married with the future of kids. Have kids eventually. And send them to Camp Wapsie, and dress them well, and make them your world. That's what my parents did, and it's what you have to do as a mom.

But before you have kids, you'd better be head-over-heels in love. I mean, I'm not sure when you'll stumble upon this letter, and kids might still be a far away worry, but I hope you're in love. I hope you find someone who takes you on dates and cuddles with you and doesn't just try to get in your pants and who is just as head-over-heels for you. If you haven't found it yet though, don't stress. So many people love you and are there for you, even if you haven't found a lover for life.

Also, read books. High-schooler Claire is constantly wishing she had more time for books. Don't forget to take a step back and sit with a book. Escape to somewhere, or learn something. Always keep learning.

Another reminder - I'm not sure if you'll gain or lose weight or stay about the same, but DAMN you are beautiful. Your eyes glow and your smile shines and makeup or naked face, you are gorgeous. Tiny boobs or sexy curves, you are wonderful and super intelligent and awesome.

Finally, if you're stressed, get up and run. I'm not sure if you're still running long distance. If not, take this as a cue to get back out there! Run a half-marathon. Well, train for one. Knowing me now, you might not have kept running. Go for a run. Get outside. Soak up some sunshine on a bike or go swim or something. Never forget the wonders of the outdoors when you are caught up in life.

Anyway, that's about it. Good luck in all your endeavors. Even if these goals and pieces of advice don't line up with who you've become, you've probably achieved things far beyond my wildest dreams. No matter what, I am proud.

Love you so much,
Claire.
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Parenthood

I was just talking to someone on a bus ride the other day about how whole-hearted parents are. When you have a child, you commit yourself to 18 years of caring for another human and teaching them everything for the first years of their life. You are that kid's lifeline. Also, you agree to fund their education and life and share your food with them for 18 years. Sometimes even longer. You're planting ideas in that kid's head, teaching them everything they know outside of school. It's so much commitment. I guess it just really hits you when you're getting closer to becoming an independent person, a true adult, that you owe so much to the people that raise you. And it's not always your parents alone, but the person that raises you has such an impact on who you become. Just, appreciate that for a second. The small scale I always think on is all the food that my mom and dad share with me. My mom always buys meals for me and makes sure I always get ice cream before she has a scoop. There's always milk in the fridge, food on the shelves, and my parents always serve my brother and I first. It's like always having a guest in your house. We've always been their number one priorities. Parents are so selfless.

So I guess, thank your parents? And if you want to become a parent someday, you're giving up so much. Be ready to cease to exist. All of your soul should go to your child and making them happy and successful, and I always feel fortunate that that's exactly what my parents have done for me. They focused so much energy on my brother and I, and raising us, I can't wait to make something out of all their hard work.

Be grateful
Claire

(This post is realllllllly cheesy but I wrote it with an inspiring guitar solo playing in my headphones, and I'm just never gonna go back and edit it, and it'll stay preserved as this nice, uplifting, and very cheesy post. Which is how it should be. Parents work hella hard and we shouldn't forget it.)

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Embarrassment

A creative post about a mortifying moment on a mundane Monday.

Puddle claire seeps through cracks in the sidewalks and disappears for eternity, to flow through the cycle that water travels in. 

First to the ground water, then pulled up in a well, used as irrigation water for crops, becoming runoff, to a stream, to a river, to an ocean. 

Puddle claire takes to the sky, to sail as a light and happy, yet still terribly embarrassed cloud, carefree and happy but for a few utterly mortifying moments. 

Puddle claire is then carried by the wind to gather over a small town in eastern Iowa, concentrating as a rainstorm, and then bursting forth as droplets to precipitate down. 

Sheltered from the downpour, another little human being. 

Someone embarrassed about some trivial mistake they made. 

Sad about something heart-crushingly awful. 

Angry, so angry they can’t stop the hot tears that flow. 

They too melt into a puddle being, joining claire via the toilet system, runoff down a sidewalk, or perhaps tears into a sink. 

Whatever it is, we all melt a little sometimes, and we get embarrassed and upset and hurt by stuff. 

Life is a steamy kitchen, fire burning stoves and hair-singing heat. And life makes us melt. 

But what we forget is that somewhere along the way in this cycle, this cycle where we and our emotions melt us into something we are not, we come back as a stronger human being. 

The droplets collect in a puddle on the sidewalk, and claire emerges once again, a human being, a wonderful, inspired, weightlessly free person, happy to be who she is and no longer embarrassed or sad or angry. 

Her water molecules are stronger now, and they take more heat to melt. 

This is what we do.

It was just a sort of rough start back into the week. Long practices, difficult classes, it all happens. And I often joke with my friends about how I'm embarrassed and I've just melted on the spot. In the moment, I continued with the metaphor and just kept typing, and it turned into something kind of cool, something worth posting here.

It's okay to melt sometimes.

Claire

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