It never ceases to amaze me how strong my friends are. They're brilliant, intelligent, and a lot of them have it more difficult in life than I do.
I am, what they call a "basic white girl." Life is handed to me. Now, that's not to say I've had my share of challenges, but both my parents are alive, healthy, and happily married. My home isn't plagued by economic troubles, mental illness, or any drug issues. I'm white, and not facing much prejudice these days. My dog is young and lively, and I attend a nice school and participate in a lot of nice things. There's just not much that makes it hard for me to sleep at night. (I've got my own school work and friendship drama and occasional feelings to deal with, but that's high school, that's relationships, and that's how it is for anyone who ever leaves their house ever.)
So, that kind of sets the scene. I have a decent life. And it always hits me hard when someone mentions something going on in their life, something I haven't had to face yet, and hope I never have to. Here are some weird and difficult examples and how I survived them???...
I have anxiety. - I did my best to be mature and helpful, and understanding, but mental illnesses are complex as hell. Anxiety, depression, it's Russian roulette and only a licensed psychologist knows how to deal with this stuff. Just be there for those that are struggling with mental illness. That's a good step in the right direction.
My mom is in Arizona, and she won't be back until next year. Why, honey? She is getting treated for lyme disease. - This came from the mouth of a teary-eyed six year old. WHAT DO YOU SAY. WHAT DO YOU DO. SHES CRYING. SHIT HELP I CANNOT COMFORT HER LIKE HER MOM WOULD IVE KNOWN HER LESS THAN TWO DAYS BUT SHES HOMESICK AND HER MOM WONT BE THERE WHEN SHE GOES HOME??? HOW SERIOUS IS LYME DISEASE? WHAT DO I DOOOO. But I hugged her, and we sat in a quiet corner and I chatted her up about her favorite new movie. She wiped away her tears, and within an hour she was dancing and alive again, and I admired her resilience. A six year old.
I'm in love with her. - This guy was difficult because the feelings very clearly weren't reciprocated and he could not. let. go. Jeeeeez. Possibly one of the most difficult conversations I've had was trying to convince this dude that he will find someone just as wonderful, and that it will be okay. He was also depressed, and very adamantly shutting down any positive ideas that I suggested. He's managing now, and has lots of support, but it's really frustrating trying to help someone that throws a problem at you and then shuts down all your solutions.
These are just a couple moments where my stomach has dropped because I just have no experience with dealing with these issues. It's just more complicated than my life has gotten so far. But to people goin thru stuff - talk to someone, if it helps. Write your thoughts down if it helps. Ask for help, if you need it.
To people trying to be there for others when you can't begin to comprehend their problems - it's okay. Often, they just want to be heard. It helps.
Life hits you like a bus when you lease expect it sometimes, and you gotta talk about it with someone or you'll be in pieces on the sidewalk.
Claire
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